oh dear.

squee!

2007-05-03T00:04:30Z

so I totally forgot to update last week with this:

Last Thursday was the Maximum Exposure show/Function Magazine release. Because of a lack of funds for framing and a spot, I wasn't doing the Max Ex show, at least I didn't think I was but apparently my visual studies prof included my two short films back to back in a media screening room. I love him.
And so that concludes an amazing school year, (which I hope and pray my grades reflect) I'm so very happy and excited for next year!

resistance is futile... damn you myspace!

2007-02-24T22:41:29Z

Once I had said "Oh yes, I will join myspace... when the rain of toads has left a sticky amphibious film on my windows! When the streets are lined with plague and pestilence ridden bodies; for it will only be then, in the days of armageddon, that I will accept the ubiquitous "Tom" as my personal saviour!"
Well, my windows are pretty grimy, and what with all the global warming, bird flu and comeback of cullotes I have no doubt the apocalypse is upon us.
In short, I have joined Myspace.
Add me or be smoted.

linkylinky

(P.S. I have not come up with a permanent nickname yet, clearly I'm not very good at it, if you have any suggestions, please make them here!)

bird brain

2007-01-13T07:23:56Z

I am writing my thesis for my final project, it involves birds. It is the same idea I had last year but dropped because of logistical impossibilities.
Bizarrely, since solving the major problem in project logistics last night, and securing my super-duper model this afternoon, I am seeing birds everywhere. Pigeons, doves and robins, oh my!
In fact, a kamakazee pigeon nearly crashed into my friend Kate and I as we were gallery hopping. Curiouser, as we hopped, we saw no fewer than a dozen pieces of artwork that revolved around or in some way related to, birds. At one point I just started standing in front of paintings pointing accusingly at the canvases as if to say "I'm on to you warm-blooded-egg-laying-jurassic-period-vertbrate!" sneaky beasts.
I also bought four bird silhouette pins from Fresh Collective.
Rather than interpreting this as a modernized hitchcockian bird stalking, I think fate may be telling me that I am heading in the right direction.
Or that I will soon be eaten alive by seagulls, or die a slow ironic death by avian flu.
Definitely one of those.

rung out

2007-01-02T01:12:36Z

and so 2007 is upon us, and I am determined to make it the best year ever.
to take risks and go for what I want, to push myself harder.
but I slept all day, so I'll have to get on that tomorrow.
tomorrow for sure...

julia does not have two daddies, though that would be kinda neat, they could wear matching sweaters!

2006-12-21T05:30:59Z

Mom: You know, I've been watching the Brokeback Mountain...

brain: oh dear. This cannot be going anywhere good.

Mom: And I was thinking... is your father gay?

brain: sweet baby jesus.

Me: No mom. Dad is not gay.

Mom: Are you sure?

Me: I'm pretty sure, yes.

brain: Dad is going to love this...

Mom: Because you never know...

brain: I do not get paid enough for this.

Seriously. I don't. I balanced her checkbook, waited patiently on the phone with the insurance company as they played an all-flute version of "Memories", wrapped presents, and had to go to the "Dad is not gay! And neither is Heath Ledger! Not that there's anything wrong with that..." place. I never thought I would have to go to that place. It wasn't even on my list of places never-to-go-to like cripple sex, and Uggs. The latter of which brought about an argument that began with my mother saying they are lovely footwear, followed by my exclamation of "are you serious!" and ended with her throwing People magazine at my head.
I'm also pretty sure I won't be able to watch Brokeback Mountain without imagining my dad and his BFF staring at each other longingly over a crackling fire. Stoppitbrainstopstopstop!
And for all of this, I now smell like nursing home.
Fantastic.

you know you're indie when...

2006-12-15T22:21:13Z

bangs trimmed, hair straightened
blue shirt dress over black tank, black leggings and sweater
ballet flats
preparing for Elliott Brood concert.

I think... I think I may be indie.
the evidence really speaks for itself I suppose.
It was inadvertent, I swear... it just
happened.
Oh dear.

silly goose

2006-11-28T06:48:24Z

Walking home, lamenting the dwindling of funds after buying some semi-gloss rc paper, bubble tea, and yet another pair of earphones (I keep losing or breaking them) I stopped at a red light.
"excuse me" said a man in suit and coat carrying briefcase, taking out his earphones and motioning for me to do the same.
"yes?"
"would you happen to know any good places to eat around here?"
"um, yes, Cinqocento, it's right down there, it's really good Italian food."
"ah, good... do you live around here?"
crap. He's totally going to hit on me.
"yes, right on the end of that block..."
"nice."
light turns green, i put my headphones back in a resume walking home. Man keeps pace with me, and points ahead "just over there?"
"yup, the one with the patio set up"
"I'm going to be alone, care to join me?"
crappity. crap. crap.
"um, I have to get home... but thank you!"

As I reached the door I realized that I gave up free dinner! I was wearing a pretty dress too! damnit, I am in need of a sugar daddy and I just let these opportunities slip by all willy nilly.
I sighed and entered the apartment only to see a note on my door Julia, was invited to Cinqocento's second anniversary, will be home before work
then it hit me... Had I gone to dinner with the suit, I would have run into my Pop Pop and that?
would have been HILIARIOUS!
crappitycrapcrap.

missmalady @ 2006-11-14T22:59:00

2006-11-15T02:59:16Z

I was shooting a documentary of social space this afternoon in a very special laundromat. I don't know what it is about the place. Maybe its age, it's very old and I think it has this really rich feeling in its layers of history. Though it's also a bit creepy. Especially the area its in. I managed to catch the attention of seemingly everyone that passed by (so says Kitty) and we were very uncomfortable there for a bit. I'm shooting again tomorrow morning. Here's hoping this turns out well.
Weird day on the whole, I'm starting to realize a thesis project and it's very exciting. To see what set me on this little path, this is my first piece in what will likely be a big series
bathroom rituals
I'm overwhelmed with ideas and projects and and...
vey.

Nooo! Not RECTANGLES!!

2006-10-22T04:59:09Z

I insist on printing everything in square format. And what is wrong with that I ask? Nothing. Not one thing. Squares don't make my eyes go all squiggly. Squares are neat. Squares are good. Squares will cook you a nice three course meal. Squares will convince your cat to stop peeing on your rug. Squares will do your homework. Squares will make sure every sock comes out of the dryer. Squares will balance your checkbook. Squares will pick out a perfect outfit for you. Squares will find your keys. Squares will call, just to see how you're doing. Squares think you look prettier without makeup. Squares are doing it for love, not money. Squares always fight the good fight. Squares will save your soul.
I love Squares.

for the girl who has everything...

2006-10-08T06:16:50Z

but I am now 22, and I am feeling festive
despite the grey hair I found in my bangs
we shall not dwell on that
I have lovely cards and presents
including a new 60-200mm lens for my 35mm camera
& quasi-fish eye converter
friends and family have been very sweet
also, my hair looks pretty and I am kinda drunk
woo!
that is all...

the failed dissemination of the pigeon camera

2006-10-05T16:55:38Z

last minute start and completion of a project last night, fueled by two starbucks iced frappucinos, and two coca-cola blak's. My heart feels funny.
I am also well past the point of hysteria.
While in History of Photography, our prof was discussing the photographic trends of the 1880's and showed slides of cameras built into unassuming things, such as an ascot, a cane, a gun... and... a pigeon. Or rather, strapped onto a pigeon.
And that's what did it... I sat there in the dark lecture hall for what was likely an innapropriate period of time, though it seemed to me as if time had no meaning for I was shaking with compressed laughter, until tears streamed down my face and my friend Yeoun started to laugh at me. Dude. it was an 1800's pigeon cam. You cannot tell me that shit would not have you in stitches. To top it off my prof added "they wouldn't typically photograph anything humans were interested in, rather, only things they were interested in, pigeony things as it were." Oh. my. god.
I want a pigeon cam.

nuit blanche

2006-10-01T10:22:08Z

Just got home from the Nuit Blanche downtown Toronto art thing. Left at 8:00 with my oldest sister and Daniela, who went home at around 1:30 after we explored Queen West, then met up with my friend Jen and her boyfriend and wandered around the AGO and OCAD.
Many photos to come.
my feet really hurt.
like, really.
much fun was had. Love the whole thing, can't wait to do it again next year.
and now? bed.

can I have an arc too? with bunnies? and monkeys?! please say yes lord...

2006-09-28T05:36:26Z

Had another apocalyptic nightmare last night. They've been a running theme over the years, usually involving watching the lake rising and the world flooding, evil set loose, animals eating animals of the same kind, etc. Last night's was particularly detailed, I had a dream within the dream that the world was about to end, and I woke, frantically trying to warn everyone, while the streets began to fill with water and recalling that God has whispered to me to go back to where I had played as a child, a place I strained to remember...
I made it there, and it was only as I remembered it for a short while before it changed. I think it was safe from where I was, it was a somewhere high up, I could see the water below begin to rise, destroying bridges and cars. I was there with my grandmother who was asking what was happening and I told her "It's Jesus..."

I have to clarify, I'm not even religious. I was raised without religion. I've never known why I have these kinds of dreams. I hope it's not a sign of encroaching madness, telling me of my destiny to preach the word of the lord on the street. Because that job is totally taken by the guy on in Dundas Square, and if I move in on his scene... I have no doubt when push comes to gospelofthelord shove, he will cut a bitch.

understanding van gogh.

2006-09-27T07:05:58Z

ear infection.
pain.
fever.
ow.
urge to stick knitting needle in ear to relieve pressure.
resisting said urge.
ow.

for the love of art & money

2006-09-18T03:21:23Z

In my desperate pursuit of good grades, which involves lifting and carrying around heavy gear, I have royally fucked up my back again. Oh herniated disks, how I missed you! in the not at all kind of way. Bastards.
Seeing the Doctor tomorrow in between classes.

Oh right, I haven't written since classes began, all is well. I'm going to class everyday, I shot all day yesterday, and in my fleeting spare time, I am collaging books for fun and (maybe)profit. The workload overall is the heaviest it will be in the four-year program. This is the year they really test you, so far I'm passing the test, though my back would have it otherwise. This is why I must press for surgery, screw this "you're too young to be having such major surgery... just don't lift anything" because that? Is not going to work out. I figure I can fit in some of the ole' cut 'n paste during a reading week or something, it's not like I haven't had three different kinds of surgery already. It's a julia-bit sale, everything must go!

This weekend I shot part one of a big still life project, (mmm... clear, sharp negs) and came up with the three other parts. Ideas seem to be flowing faster than before, making me glad I finished making myself a book of ideas so early (major on-going term project in Visual Studies is to fill it).
I feel so much more at home at school, reading instructions is easier, I even answer questions (correctly) in class... Overall, I'm so much happier this year. It's a relief. I'm determined to keep this up and make some art I can be really proud of.

happy happy happy!!!

2006-09-03T05:26:07Z

I have to stop myself from bouncing up and down right now. One of my very favourite, if not my actual very favourite band, Tara King Th. from France wrote to me and said:

Hello.

I came "Accidentally" on your page!
Your gallery is amazing! I really love your work.
colours, style... etc.
especially the "conceptuals" ones
do you collaborate with bands in your country?
best

ARno
Tara King th.

This is me excited. Very, very excited. And what song do I love to listen to when I'm very excited and want to dance? Tara King th. - club '84.
May the dancing commence.

the aftermath

2006-08-29T03:01:40Z

Ze date last week went well. I was comfortable, it was fun, flowy and cool. And he totally looks like some mad scientist took Jason Segal and Ryan Reynolds and mixed their DNA all willy nilly and made a delicious, delicious clone...
I hope to see him again, and have my way with him.
Er, I mean, he's funny and very cool.
I like him.
*cough*
that is all.

you're just made for love...

2006-08-22T23:39:06Z

I have bangs.
They are pretty.
In a schoolgirlgeek kind of way. I am preparing for my date tomorrow night. I am nervous but very excited.
i must now pick out an equally pretty outfit, I'm thinking brown pleated skirt with oatmeal coloured waist hugging, chest/shoulder flaring asian print shirt with tortoiseshell strands of beads and black high heels and bag.
There are several other outfits to consider but they are all grey, I think I may go with the first as it works with my colouring. Speaking of, went to see my surgeon for my post-op appointment...

everything seems fine, though you look very pale... or is that how you always look?
intern laughs.
yes... this is pretty much how I always look.
ok then, you're fine!

Nice. And after that I went to have my hair cut, since my last favourite salon closed down I've been forced to find a new one. And find one I did. In truth I've never had one that truly fit my style or sensibilities, Extraordinaire was too hip for it's own good, W Lifestyle was too cold and black&whiteleatherglass&chrome... but iodine+arsenic is perfect. The owner is super nice, their atmosphere cool but not trying too hard, their magazines are the kinds I like to read and they sell handmade products for skin. And they give good hair. Excellent. They are also a block away are do free bang-trimming. Heart. Hair is always the thing I can never seem to get quite right, and as I've written before, the hipster factor at school is high, and hair envy does set in.
Here's hoping for a successful date facilitated by nice hair.
(I'm really not shallow, just insecure. big difference you know.)

now with 100% less tonsils!

2006-08-15T18:28:06Z

9 am yesterday

The time of reckoning is at hand, at twelve o'clock, my tonsils are coming out.
With any luck they will let me keep them in a bell jar. They would make both an awesome conversation piece and prop. I am a little anxious as my friends keep telling me of their other friends or relatives who had their tonsils out only to have them grow back... and if there is one thing I am certain of, it is that my tonsils are the spiteful sort, coming back with a vengence sounds like their style. Still, I will be hopeful that this will be an end to the endless head colds, ear infections and general whining.
I am told this will hurt, that I won't be able to talk much, or open my mouth properly, as my doctor put it "no tonsil-less hockey." Also on the tonsil's agenda, the death of my social life. Damn them.
Might as well pack it in and head for the nunnery, you know you don't have to pay rent as long as you marry god. It's cool, I always thought I might end up in a loveless marriage of convenience, it's why I honed my talent of lying perfectly still... which I am sure I will be doing a lot of in the coming days. This means friends will have to come see the sick girl in bed and bring her pressies! Totally my plan all along, just a friendly reminder, I enjoy dvd's and giant Flemish rabbits.

If something goes horribly wrong on the table, just know this... I'm totally coming back to haunt everyone. Don't worry, think more slimer from ghostbusters, less poltergeist from poltergeist.

& away I go...
xoxo
julia

Post-Op Update

I am alive! Sort of. The surgery was postponed by several hours, meaning I had to sleep on a hospital recliner for six hours. My herniated disks want me dead.
I was ok post-op with the drugs still in my system, but now... not so good. On the bright side I have gingerale and popsicles. I am determined to be well enough to go on the dates I have. Oh yes, two very super boys have asked me out.
Tonsil-less hockey there will be...
oh yes.

missmalady @ 2006-07-27T00:11:00

2006-07-27T04:11:07Z

I went out with Alina tonight and had a lovely time and learned something, which is always good. On the way home in the rain I passed a construction site, a worker called out to me: hey hon, you're looking really nice tonight... in such a nice way that I didn't feel gross, blushed and said thank you.
I think it's a Canadian thing.

mister flopsycakes will eat your soul.

2006-06-18T07:58:14Z

No, I certainly did not just spent two hours of the early morning looking at cute photos of little bunnies. That would be insane.
It was only an hour.

missmalady @ 2006-06-07T00:53:00

2006-06-07T04:54:14Z

I just went down to do laundry, and someone has spilled bleach everywhere and I didn't know it... my favourite grey skirt I got on sale for ten dollars and the beautiful red shirt my grandmother just bought me last week are now ruined and I can't stop crying. And i know it's stupid to cry over things, but I just don't have to money to replace them, and I loved them... it's really hard for me to find clothes that fit and look good on me. I'm also scared there was bleach in the machines I'm using. I'm scared to take my clothes out and see...
I'm so upset and it's ridiculous but I can't help it.

after some fruit and a iced coffee I have calmed down, and have a plan to fix things. If there's one thing I can do, it's problem solve. After crying for a while... but I eventually get around to the problem solving.
Solution:
the bleach stains on the skirt are drippy all down the side seam, I will undo the stitching and take it in a couple of inches, and for the one drip on the hem away from the seam, I will take up the hem an inch (which is fine, the skirt is loose and flowy and goes below mid calf as it is.)

the shirt: I have the receipt and tags, my friend tells me that I can ask if I can exchange it as most high end retail stores have no problem kicking items back to the manufacturers, who can then write it off as a defect. There's no harm in asking and hoping they still have those shirts.

I will stop crying now.

full of bees!

2006-05-18T06:29:13Z

and the grades, they are in:

English, Cultures in Crisis: B+
Design & Composition: B (bless you Professor No Smudges!)
Conceptes & Theories: B+ (I love you Professor Horselover Fat)
Tools & Applications: B- (you and me, we've got a score to settle Professor Socks & Sandals)
Art History: B (My papers, and the fact that I must have done really well on that final exam made up for the first exam)
Productions: D (B average on projects, grades deducted for two missing assignments and I love my professor this *arms wide* much!)

B... a sweeter mark there could never be. Be. B! (excuse me, I've gone a little mad)
I am busy trying to earn another in my spring semester elective, Pop Lit. It's going well so far, with a B+ on my first paper, but I have three books to read before next week's midterm. And my social life screeches to a halt as I juggle the homework, efforts to find a job, and a massive load of laundry staring me down from across the room. Bastard, I'll do you. I'll do you good. *grabs the environmentally friendly detergent, laughing maniacally*

A piece of my five part final project, A Girl's Guide to Self-Destruction, which had me crazed and sleep deprived for the critique, still? B+... a pattern emerges.
model: Daniela
camera: minolta srt 100, tungsten balanced portra film
settings: f 5.6 1/30
studio: two flood lights
printed: by me and you probably don't care about the details so I shall stop here.

missmalady @ 2006-04-28T01:07:00

2006-04-28T05:09:08Z

Had a surreal, messed up day. I can't even write about it with any sort of emotion right now, I'm drained and tired. it just needed to be said.

my underwear say "cotton" this is not at all helpful...

2006-04-21T23:13:49Z

Is it really Friday? Seriously? My days are all jumbled and messy in my mind, and in my hair, which I should have washed last night. The only reason I was aware yesterday was Thursday was because it was therapy day, but after my session was over, my mind went back to thinking it was Wednesday... of next week. When I woke up this morning, I realized I still needed to shoot a roll of film, and so I went about hastily documenting my day. It came out quite well, I have learned that I love my Nikon slr, and that I really need a new lens for my Minolta, as well as new glasses because good lord, focusing indoors in low light is unpossible! Also added to my list: one studio light, a strong tripod for my 4x5, a macro lens, and a medium format camera.
Also? A job. Definitely need a job.
At 11am and I went to print for the rest of the day, and print I did. Running around the building, out for supplies, interacting with my peers, as well as actually having beautiful negatives made me feel for the first time like I really belong at Ryerson and know what I'm doing. So I had better not fail or I will be forced to drown myself in the toilet...
(I can only muster enough energy to sit on the floor and dunk my head in, gravity and exhaustion will do the rest).